CARRIE PREJEAN & PEREZ HILTON or Beauty & the Beast...

So lemme get this straight...

This aging homosexual (pictured below) asks the reigning Miss California if she'd consider marrying a gay man...



She takes one look at him and says, "Not if they look like you. Now get out of my face, you dumb bitch!"

I probably got a few minor details wrong, but that was the gist of it. Right?

Oh, by the way, this is Miss California...

Mohammed's Moon - a dark play by Dale Andersen

JOHN LENNON - CLOSET GAY-BAITER...

John Lennon was a closet homophobe.

No doubt about it.



Example: "Give Peace a Chance" was released in 1969. Here are the lyrics:

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Bagism, Shagism,
Dragism, Madism,
Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism,
ism ism ism
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

(C'mon)

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Minister, Sinister,
Banisters and Canisters,
Bishops, Fishops,
Rabbis and Pop Eyes,
Bye bye, Bye byes
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

(Let me tell you now)

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Revolution, Evolution,
Flagellation, Regulation,
Integrations, mediations,
United Nations, congratulations
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
John and Yoko,
Timmy Leary,
Rosemary
Tommy Smothers,
Bobby Dylan,
Tommy Cooper
Derek Taylor,
Norman Mailer,
Alan Ginsberg,
Hare Krishna
Hare Hare Krishna
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

(Repeat 'til the tape runs out)

Those are the lyrics. So far, so good. However, if you listen to the song, the first line sounds like:

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Faggots faggots faggots

Don't believe me? Have a listen for yourself...




Sounds like faggots, yes? And I recall around campus (I was going to college at the time the single was released) hearing kids singing it as "faggots." And I think that's exactly what John Lennon intended. He had a mean streak. A new book about him recounts his cruel, diabolical side.

"Give Peace a Chance" fooled a lot of people. Here's a great story one lady posted on an Internet message board:

...it happened in the late 90s when I was working for Tower Records. We had the Lennon Legend album on and Give Peace A Chance starts playing as I work the register. I was at the main register and had about 4 customers in line. A black lady was getting some assistance from a co-worker at the register about 15 feet away. And then a gay white dude comes to my co-worker's counter, interrupting the black lady in mid sentence, and starts complaining about the music.

Gay White Dude: Please turn off this music! It's offensive.

Co-worker: It's Give Peace A Chance. What's the problem?

Gay White Dude: It's disrespectful because it says faggot. Please turn it off.

Black Lady: Excuse me. I'm trying to get some help here.

The Gay White Dude turns on her with a vengeance.

Gay White Dude: How would you like it if they were playing a song that said nigger in it?

Black Lady: What did you say, faggot?

At this point everyone stopped what they were doing, including me, to watch.

The Gay White Dude says a little louder: How would you like it if they were playing a song that said nigger, nigger, nigger in the store?

Black lady screams: Faggot, faggot, faggot!

White dude screams: Nigger, nigger, nigger!

And they keep going back and forth at the top of their voices. All the while, the chorus "All we are saying, is give peace a chance" is playing over and over. Completely nuts!

Eventually the police came and took the Gay White Dude away.

All I could think to say to my customers was: If you enjoyed the show, please tip your waitress.

It was sooo surreal...


Certainly not one of John Lennon's finer moments, n'est pas? And here's a sidelight on the lyrics. It seems the scrap of paper on which John composed the song was purloined in 1969. And now, the purloiner is selling it.

News Update: This post made the New Yorker magazine. Woohoo!

The 100 Million Dollar Son - a one-act play by Dale Andersen

THE FIRST TIME...

I found this photo on a website somewhere:



It got me to thinking about the first time I heard that word. And I recall it was in Esquire in 1965. Terry Southern wrote a satirical article entitled, Terry Southern Interviews A Faggot Male Nurse. The interview may have been invented. Who knows? Terry Southern was a wild and crazy guy. Here's part of it:




In the interview, after a lot of semantic backing and forthing, they settle on "gay" as the operative word.

And I remembered, that's the first time I ever heard "gay" used "that way." Because, in 1965, there was the "other way." As in this Sinatra tune...

And I feel so gay
In a melancholy way,
That it might as well be spring
It might as well be spring.

or this one...

Love is tearful or it's gay
It's a problem or it's play
It's a heartache either way
But beautiful.