Ismail Haniya

Ismail Haniya (pictured above) has got to be the dumbest white man on the planet. Or maybe the second dumbest. One or the other. Who is Ismail Haniya? The Head Honcho of Hamas, that's who. Mister Numero Uno in Gazaland, that's who. How dumb is he? Here's a message from him to the teeming Palestinian masses:

“We are approaching victory. The blood which has flowed
will not have flowed in vain. I tell you that after 17 days
of this war, Gaza has not been broken and Gaza will
not fall.”

That said as ten thousand Jews With Guns hit the ground running in Gaza City like it was junior high school recess.

Your first impulse is to admire the little fuck. You see the bombs raining down and the Israeli tanks and artillery punching holes in walls and you want to cheer him on. It's human nature to root for the underdog, to pull for the scrappy little dude who says "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore."

At the same time, you know it's gonna be one of those lost-cause deals. You know the odds are long, the chances for success, slim. It's like what Seinfeld said:

Jerry: Like a spider in the toilet struggling for survival. And even though
you know it's not going to make it, you kind of root for it.

Elaine: And then you flush.

Jerry: Well, it's a spider.

"You kind of root for it." Yeah, you do. But it's getting harder and harder. The rooting starts to stop when Mister Stubborn puts on his stupid hat.

Face it, some people lack common sense. Some people wouldn't know common sense if it walked up behind them and bit them on the ass. Common sense says sometimes you gotta back away, gotta load up and leave, gotta cut your losses and live to fight again. Ismail must have missed class the day they played the Kenny Rogers song:

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done

The Developed World has sent aid to the Palestinians for a long time. How long? Don't even ask. However long it's been, it hasn't helped them. They've done little more than turn their corner of the world into a first-class shit hole.

Add to that the fact they've had an unbroken string of exceptionally fucked-up leaders. In case you don't know what "exceptionally fucked-up" means, it's like this: when things are going really bad and it looks like surrender might be one of the few viable options left, an exceptionally fucked-up leader would be one who would seriously consider blowing himself and everyone else in a fifty mile radius to smithereens. Who was the last leader to consider going that route? I won't tell you, but his last name is spelled H-I-T-L-E-R.

So maybe it's time for someone to change. Don't expect it to be them. Ain't no Obamas riding the range in Gazaland.

If they can't change, we sure can. We Americans know change. We invented change.

But. first and foremost, some guiding principles are required. We need a philosophy. We need some wisdom. We need a guru. Where to turn? Where to turn?

Hmmmm. Aha! I know.

How about that great seer and visionary, Sam Kinison? RIP. Here he is articulating his views on world hunger...

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