There's this tedious old bloggette who styles herself Queen of Spain. Claims to have been an award-winning journalist. Perhaps she was. Who knows? They give awards for all kinds of things: ugliest dog, most hideously-unique disability, coolest camel toe, you name it.

So let's all agree she was a journalist. Was. An award-winning journalist even. So what has she done for us lately? Not much, it seems. Oh, she putters around the house. Picks at the keyboard. Gets in everyone's way. Makes a general nuisance of herself. And when things blow up in her goofy face, she vents her spleen
. All over the page.

Most recently, she seems to be having a hair up her ass about the Prop 8 supporters. Here's a sample of her vented spleen. Brace yourself. It's not a pretty sight:

Suck? Fuck? Bastards? Geez, Erin. Stop sugarcoating. Lay it on the line.

For those of you who care, here's the rant in its entirety along with the 200
-plus saccharine comments from her pathetically-fawning fans. It's a riveting page-turner. I suggest you read it aloud to someone you're about to break up with. It'll hasten the process.

Queen of Spain reminds me of Mary Tyler Moore. Not the young Mary we all knew and loved on television. Not even the 40-something Mary. I mean the cranky old Mary of the nineties, in her posh Park Avenue digs with, as Bob Dylan would put it, "her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls."

Let me set the scene. It was Janu
ary 1996 and I was living in New Jersey working in radio and we had a major Winter storm. It was so bad the roads were shut down for three days. And, lo and behold, one Channel 4 newscaster trainee, reporting live from a subway station in the Burbs and no doubt freezing her tush off, was caught on camera wearing a fur coat. My letter to the editor tells the rest of the story:

The editor changed "fuck" to "muck." It's like life, Queenie. You can't have everything your way. Sometimes you have to take what they give. Go along to get along. "Whether you like it or not," as Gavin Newsom would put it.

And most of the time, it's okay to take it. After all, "muck" does get the point across, doesn't it?

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1 comment:

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