Friday

MANNY RAMIREZ: I'm With Stupid!

Hey, Dodger fans. Check out the video. See that guy? That's Manny Ramirez, standing in left field farting, chewing pumpkin seeds, scratching his balls and doing that dumb chicken-wing thing with his elbows. Now tell me with a straight face your grandfather with Parkinson's couldn't do what Manny's doing for a lot less money.



Most of the time, I ignore baseball. It's boring and, at least since the Steroid Era, tainted. Tainted to the degree you just can't tell anymore who's dirty and who's clean.

Even so, you want the heroes in any sport to be able to stand tall, to be god-like and to represent the game in all its finer virtues. And this is where Manny Ramirez comes up way short. When you look at him, it becomes abundantly clear right at the getgo, he ain't no Bad Henry. He ain't no Mister October. He ain't even a Charlie Fucking Hustle. You look at Manny, you try to smile and nod patronizingly as he mumbles and drools his way through what passes for an interview and you think, "This guy's a fucking fruitloop. It's like having Bozo the Clown as your star player."

And it's true. For $45 Million, we got a clueless, dumb-as-dirt, goober-picking country cocksucker who couldn't string a subject, a verb and a direct object together if you put a gun to his head.

Add to this the fact that we signed the motherfucker for stratospheric megabucks at a time when no other team in the known universe wanted him. Let me repeat that. No one else was bidding. The Dodger owner (pictured below heading toward a hotel suite to celebrate with his gay "nephew") was bidding against himself.
If you ever had doubts about the business acumen of American capitalists, Frank McCourt is your guy.

im with stupid

Years ago, when the Red Sox were looking to sign Manny from Cleveland, some of the Boston scouts were of the opinion he was borderline retarded. They were probably right, and you have to wonder, if this doofus couldn't hit a baseball, could he hold down a job at, say, McDonalds?

For that matter, could the Dodger owner?

Okay. One more time. Here's what you got for $45 Million. Click on the video. Enjoy!





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46 comments:

Anonymous said...

dude youre an idiot. we got the guy for his bat, which is undeniable... look at his career averages and what he did for us last season.
and you commenting on manny being clueless and dumb is ignorant at best...
you need to work on your writing skills...

Anonymous said...

it's pretty obvious without you having to state it that you dont know anything or pay any attention to baseball...
maybe stick to writing about what you know.
manny is just a free spirited guy that walks to his own beat. he's a business man too that's trying to get paid just like everyone else in the capitalist society...

your mom said...

I cant beleive i even came on this site. But since im here, your a dumb ass, and if u even knew anything saying hes not even mr october. guess who has the most hr in the playoffs manram. Just because he does things you think are stupid doesnt mean you not a fuckin loser either and u are stuck with no money as manny doesnt have a worry in the world. Fuckin Faggot

Anonymous said...

THIS FUCKING IDIOT BRAAA LOOK AT THE DUDE CARRER HR,AVG,RBI,SLG AND THEN TALK THE DUDE IS A BEAST..SHIT IF I WOULD BE PLAYING OUT FIELD I BE SCRATCHING MY BALLS 2 WHY NOT..AS LONG AS I CATCH THE DAMN BALL..LOOK AT HIS CARRER ERROR NOT SOO MANY SOOO SHHHHHH U LOOK BETTER QUITE

Anonymous said...

So the man stays relaxed between strikes or batters...who doesn't try to stay loose...I guess you never played the game in the outfield

Anonymous said...

You guys don't get it. NO ONE ELSE WANTED MANNY - IT WAS A ONE MAN BIDDING WAR. Measuring this deal up for value shows you how much the Dodgers overspent. Manny isn't worth it. He's 37, past his prime, not a team leader, he doesn't follow rules, plays hard only if he feels like it, a clubhouse distraction, etc. You got to feel sorry for the Dodgers if Manny is the key to their success this year. I feel a last place finish coming on.

playwrighter said...

Thank you, Last Mr Anon. You're right. They don't get it. The fact is, everyone was stupid on the Manny thing. It was garbage in, garbage out from the getgo...

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